just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
