just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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