remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
