Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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