8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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