so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
