please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize