Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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