I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
