She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Randomize
