I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
