im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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