Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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