M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
