Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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