Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
