2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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