All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i love accidental penises.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
