I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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