We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
