I only kidnapped one of them. chill
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
