i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
