So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
