No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
