I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
