new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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