Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize