Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
