i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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