next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We are two peas in an std pod
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
