I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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