I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
