oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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