You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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