No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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