I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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