Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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