If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
