i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
