plz talk dirty to me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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