i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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