Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We left the knife in your bed.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
