would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
