Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
