I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
