Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
