I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
