She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
