on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
