i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
