I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sorry about my life...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
