I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
