What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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