when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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