As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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