ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize