phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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