erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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