he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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