I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
