Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
