I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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