tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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