So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
