Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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