so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"