Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache

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  (206): got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache http://tfl.nu/qh4z
  Replies (23) Good night (4443) Bad night (1186)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.

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  (201): somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors. http://tfl.nu/tdd7
  Replies (45) Good night (10392) Bad night (675)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes

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  (303): I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes http://tfl.nu/g6od
  Replies (17) Good night (5512) Bad night (1266)
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  (516): View more from New York

  until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life

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  (516): until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life http://tfl.nu/jc1p
  Replies (13) Good night (3689) Bad night (1138)
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  (916): View more from California

  craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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  (916): craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/76bu
  Replies (16) Good night (8547) Bad night (1168)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.

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  (484): She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that. http://tfl.nu/ceu5
  Replies (24) Good night (4478) Bad night (1360)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all

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  (321): Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all http://tfl.nu/j4ja
  Replies (8) Good night (1446) Bad night (565)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.

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  (906): Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think. http://tfl.nu/xmje
  Replies (7) Good night (1309) Bad night (830)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Lube is flammable

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who is this??

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  (502): Lube is flammable (404): Who is this?? http://tfl.nu/y4u7
  Replies (19) Good night (3786) Bad night (722)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.

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  (208): I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single? (1-208): Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well. http://tfl.nu/96dv
  Replies (10) Good night (1611) Bad night (438)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...

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  (914): Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much... http://tfl.nu/zii3
  Replies (1) Good night (710) Bad night (484)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.

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  (617): the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it. http://tfl.nu/pyx3
  Replies (3) Good night (1180) Bad night (310)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!

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  (636): She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude! http://tfl.nu/l1oq
  Replies (5) Good night (794) Bad night (188)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...

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  (+44): She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me... http://tfl.nu/3kns
  Replies (8) Good night (370) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS

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  (513): DIBS ON THE NEW GUY. (504): NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS http://tfl.nu/z4ea
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (118)

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