thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
