She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i dont even know how to be here
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
