I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
