when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The feeling are messing with the penis
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
